Sunday, December 31st, 2006
Adventures of a Banana: 2007: The New Life
I regret to inform you that Orangey Snicket (the writer for the series of misfortunate events) has been forced into retirement due to depression. He actually took a pair of baby pacifiers and started sucking them to death ( How did he intend to kill himself with baby pacifiers still remains a mystery). Well, after a long absence and hiatus on my part due to Mr Snicket exposing some of my childhood tragedies ( thank God it was only ‘some’), I shall begin on my next series of chronicles, the adventures of a Banana.
Our tale starts a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…(sounds clichéd doesn’t it)…okok, bordering on the line of lameness, I know. Well, if you’re not happy with it, read another Blog then!
Actually it was more like 3 days ago, in a little kampung called
Kuala Lumpur …..
“Doctor, doctor, our test subject is ready for final phase initiation…”, declared a lab technician calmly.
“Proceed with final phase initiation on my mark, 3….2….1….INITIATE”, ordered the doctor with a composed and authoritive tone. This was met with a pause of silence. “ I SAID INITIATE!!”, shouted the doctor as he noticed his lab technician busy watching an Oprah Winfrey rerun on his cellphone.
“Sorry doctor, Project Banana initiated….”, replied the lab technician as he fiddled with a few knobs and punched on a few buttons(while thinking to himself, I sure hope this works, this is totally different then making Ramly burgers )
As the 6 foot tube incubator started to whir and create sounds( which resembled the tune to one of those Kiki-Lala commercials), the doctor spoke aloud in a triumphant voice saying,
“ Finally the time has come for our project to step out into the world, and finally its time for us to rule the world!!!!! Muahahahha…ack…ack”, paused the doctor as he took a breath of his respirator.
“ But doctor, what about your other failed experiments, such as the Powerpuff girls?”, asked another technician.
“They were made with sugar, spice and everything nice, doesn’t that sound more like a cheese cake formula rather than a world domination one?”, replied the doctor.
“But then, what about Osama Bin Laden?”, asked another technician.
“Oh , he had too much hair and his vocabulary was limited to Jihad Jihad”, replied the doctor as he looked up at them and continued, “How dare you question me, you fools!!!” .
Just as the doctor was about to perform an act of discipline upon his subordinates( ala Darth Vader ), the tube incubator stopped and its front latch opened to expose the specimen which it was holding inside….which could only prompt the doctor to say,
“Oh my goodness, in all my years I haven’t seen something so….
TO BE CONTINUED
