Echoes of a Deranged world

*Translated from badly-dubbed mandarin( taken from nearly every korean/japanese romance drama shown on local television…why can’t they translate it into malay or something…oh wait, they tried that with ‘doraemon’ and it was a disaster!)

*SCENARIO 1

Girl: I love you(Cries like a baby)

Boy: I love you(Cries like a baby)

*SCENARIO 2

Girl: I Hate you!!!…*although she really love the dude(Cries like a baby)

Boy: I hate you too!!!…*although he loves her(Cries like a baby)

*SCENARIO 3

Girl: I love you but we can’t be together!(Cries like a baby)

Boy: But…but…!!!( aww, just guess what he’s doing at the moment…yup, you must be the bright one in your family….he’s CRYING LIKE A BABY!!!)

Today, allow me to bring you into a journey of exploration into the ‘disease’ which is now spreading(commonly in romance dramas where the girls are pretty and the guys are prettier than the girls). This ‘Cry Baby Syndrome’ will be aptly named ‘CBS’(so not to inflict anymore stress on my poor fingers typing away on the keyboard).

In order to delve deeper into ‘CBS’, I have with me a specialist in the field of…some scientific term which he told me yet i forgot(but i assure you, it sounded very long and complicated). Ahem, anyway, for the duration of this interview, he has chosen to remain anonymous(for fear of umbrella wielding aunties, who are addicted to the said dramas, beating the living daylights out of him).

Me: Dr, how long has ‘CBS’ been around?

Dr Buaya: Hmm, ‘CBS’ has been around eversince TVB started making low budget romance serials with even lower budget acting quality.

Me: I see…so what can you tell us about ‘CBS’, based on your research?

Dr Buaya: Basically, ‘CBS’ is a chemical transaction of molecularly enchanced hormones among two homosapiens based on the biological imprint of the genectical catalystic process which is….are you still awake?

Me:Zzz…oops, yeah, i was hearing everything you said(while wiping drool away from my face, wow, ‘warm’ drool…Mmm)

Dr Buaya: In layman terms, the guy hormone says to the girl hormone,"Yo, wanna procreate?". In which the girl hormone will be confused at the request and proceed to ‘cry like a baby’ for a while.After the period of crying and confusion passes, she will reply enthusiasticly, "Yup, Lots and lots of babies!!!". In which, the guy hormone will then be freaked out and scared all of a sudden at the task, which will cause him to ‘cry like a baby’.

Me: Wow, that’s an interesting theory…what research have you done to come up with this theory? Are your sources reliable?

Dr Buaya: Well, i have watched in detail every single episode of Full House, Winter Sonata…(and he was stating the names of all the dramas he had ‘researched’ for the next 2 hours) and finally "Doraemon cinta Germaine",just for good measure.

Me: WOW!!! i salute your bravery and courage( standing up, i gave him an army salute of respect).

Dr Buaya: It was torture…but in the name of science!

Me: Very well then, moving on to the next question…HEY!!! you can’t be in here! This is a private interview! SECURITY!!!( as a bunch of umbrella wielding aunties invaded my computer room and started attacking DR Buaya)

Dr Buaya: Ouch, hey stop it….NOOOOO!!!!!( the scream sounded exactly like Luke Skywalker’s scream when he found out that Darth Vader was his father. FYI,some of the umbrella wielding aunties were whacking him with their umbrellas while others were tickling his feet with a feather…THE HORROR!!!!)

Me: What is it that you people want?

Umbrella whacking auntie: Sui Chai, tim kai lei chow kam geh yeh? Lei Chi toe moe? Ngoe tei chung yee tai ‘drama’…hoe Seong Sam geh!( Translation= erm, my cantonese ain’t that good, but I think they were ordering for a plate of wan tan mee, with extra heplings of ‘char siew’)

Dr Buaya: Gary…(holding me as if this was gonna be his last few words before he kicked the bucket..you know, you probably watched this scene a million times on those ‘dramas’.) I don’t think I’m gonna make it…Tell my mother that I love her, and that i …i….urgh.

Time of death: Sunday 10.45 p.m

Cause of death: Tickled to death by feathers, with injuries to the butt by umbrellas.

JUST KIDDING!!!!

Nobody actually dies in my blog(although there is gonna be a recount of it …about someone who died but rose up again 3 days later…hold your breath for it!). Oh yeah, Dr Buaya quit his job after the interview and went to live somewhere in the himalayas to escape from the wrath of the umbrella wielding aunties.

So that was that, the interview ended disastorously with the invasion of the umbrella wielding aunties. In conclusion, it seems that ‘CBS’ isnt romance at all…but a marketing ploy by the media, involving large purchases of ‘Eye Mo’ to make the actors cry and using cheesy ‘background’ music everytime an intimate moment comes on.

Join me next week on part 2 of the mini-series, Perception of Romance, in order to find out what ‘love’ really is about….for now i have to go buy some wan tan mee in order to get rid of the umbrella wielding aunties…

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